Articles

Burger Express

The Great Burger Chase / Spokane /

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Some people love burgers. I'm not one of them, but that's not to say I don't like a good one. I might not be a connoisseur, but I like what I like, and I'm OK with that.

After the disappointment that was Fatburger -- in retrospect, I guess I should've seen that one coming -- I couldn't shake the want to try a new burger. Why not, right? Maybe, just maybe, a new spot, one I hadn't heard a whole lot about, would be some unknown Xanadu of meat and cheese.

The spot I landed on, Burger Express was, sadly enough, not what I had hoped for. I believe its location used to be a Zip's, and frankly, it probably should not have changed. Burger Express is not good. It's about the most flavorless burger I've had.

Oh, they make promises. Promises of top shelf ingredients, with a freshness that could blind you. The impression they try to give off, that of being a fancy drive-through, should probably be a warning sign in itself. I can't remember having heard of anyone being particularly blown away by a burger drive-through. (Take that as a free business idea suggestion, though.)

The biggest issue here is, as often is the issue with burgers, the patties. These aren't just flavorless, they are way to «well-done» (kind of a misnomer) for their thinness. Kill the actual patty, and the burger is dead on arrival in my book.

I can only assume the buns come directly from Franz, and the pickles and lettuce from Safeway's discount aisle. There is no flavor anywhere to be found. It's like eating air that inexplicably has obtained mass.

Therefore the quest for a good burger, one a bit outside the usual suspects, continues. Burger Express did not hit it home for me, although I suppose it's a really convenient stop if you're making a trip to COSTCO.